What Is A Paradigm?

Firstly, lets find out what a paradigm is and then see how to shift it.
Paradigm Definition.1 : A paradigm is a standard, perspective, or set of ideas. A paradigm is a way of looking at something.
Paradigm Definition.2 : A scientific paradigm, in the most basic sense of the word, is a framework containing all of the commonly accepted views about a subject..
So a paradigm as stated above is essentially a model that is governed by a set of laws or rules. A paradigm can be the general perception of how the average person tries to make sense of the world around them. Their brains will take in the 5 sensory cues (sight, smell, sound, touch, taste) at that present moment and then allow their beliefs, values & assumptions to build a story so they can make sense of what is going on.

At the most basic level, a person is trying to establish if the circumstance/event/moment-in-time contains elements of safety or danger. We are primed to move toward pleasure/safety/path-with-least-resistance and away from danger/pain/path-with-most-resistance. We are looking out for our own best interests. However, there can be many in-discrepancies in our personal definitions and assumptions of danger & safety. Considering that modern times are generally much safer than our caveman days, we still heavily rely on our most basic instincts to act as driving motivational forces in our lives.
For example, some may view entrepreneurship as exhilarating and freeing, while another may view it as daunting and destined to fail. Some may be skeptical about values such as trust in a relationship and tread very cautiously when considering a relationship with someone, while another may dive head-first into a relationship and throw caution to the wind.
What separates & distinguishes a persons motivation to choose, decide & act is how their conditioning has programmed their perception of the world. The most powerful conditioning times are generally created when a child is in the age range of 0 - 7 years old and/or when a person is deeply affected by trauma or inspiration.

When & How We Learn

The learning capacity in young children is astounding and must never be under-estimated. They do not rely on their intellectual capacity for knowledge because it has not yet been learned or is still in its infancy, so they focus their learning abilities on the sensory cues of their parents or guardians. If a child is brought up in a broken home, their understanding of right from wrong will be extremely different from that of a child from a loving home. A parents/guardians body language, is like an open-book to a child. How the adult interacts with themselves and others shows the child how he/she should act. As the child gets older he/she will take on the beliefs and values of their roles models, which will heavily impact their understanding and behaviour toward the world around them.

Trauma and powerful inspiration can and often do have a great impact on a persons perception and understanding of the world around them. These moments in life have such immense pattern disruptions that if forces immediate evaluation of oneself and ones world view.
Up until this point, you may see how you can be shaped by people and circumstances, but what may not be as clear is the more subtle aspects of conditioning and how that works to assist the development of your paradigm.

School can be a major life altering time. For many people school life is remembered as a nightmare or a dream due to factors such as authority figures, role models, bullying, antagonisation, competition, comparing, puppy-love, being ridiculed, being celebrated, exam pressure, becoming a teen, friendships and many other such issues. School can bring out confidence, insecurity, arrogance, empathy, low-self esteem, ambition and a plethora of states-of-mind that can alter or distort a persons thinking process, the choices they makes (or don’t make) and the actions they take (or don’t take).

Relationships can become the next determining factor on how a paradigm is created. Someone who experiences a loving relationship with another (regardless of if it is intimate of not), will have a completely different understanding of people and relationships to someone who has experienced many difficult moments in a relationship.

Paradigm defining moments can also come from values designed around cultural background, race, religion, sex, political views, home country’s collective views and more.

We Are What We Know

Every moment of our current life is dictated by our experiences. So then why, if we are primed to move toward pleasure and away from pain, do we often seem to repeat negative patterns, attract undesirable circumstances and carry such heavy burdens? Why do we do things that we know are not good for us, place us in the way of harm and often act in ways that make us feel ashamed?
The human condition is much more complex and intricate than you may think.
A person with a weight issue may comfort eat to help with their emotional pain or they may feel that when no one is there for them, at least they can rely on food to soothe their issues. A person who goes back to an abusive partner may do so, because they were brought up in a broken home, or they want to keep the family together for the children or the abusive partner is a master manipulator. A person may consistently go back to drugs and alcohol to disassociate from the hurt they feel. A person may push away potential relationship partners in fear of being hurt again. A person may rather stay in an unhappy relationship than risk being alone and/or starting over.

How Value Is Perceived

We only do that which creates some form of value to ourselves and until we can understand & process such values will we be able to see for sure that the "value" that we are holding onto is actually benefiting us or creating harm. It is about bringing that which has sat in the dark corners of our minds into the light.
Looking deeply at the person you see in the mirror can be the most difficult process for you to do, but it can also be the most rewarding. As they say, Fortune Favours The Brave.

Changing Your Paradigms

However, self-evaluation is definitely Not an opportunity for self-punishment, self-critism or self-loathing. It is an opportunity to see your life from a different perspective. One of curiosity, awareness, an open-mind and non-judgment. The past has created your life and has served its purpose up until this moment. What was done in the past cannot be changed, but it can bring great opportunities of learning and growth. It is your job to be kind to yourself because deep down you know that every action, thought, belief and behaviour essentially came from a place inside you that wanted what was best for you... Even if it turned out otherwise. It has taken many events and years to create the person you see in the mirror, so it will also take time to understand yourself, your motivations, your patterns & beliefs.
Awareness is the key to a hopeful future and once you are aware of your limiting, destructive or repeating patterns, you will be in a unique position to change those patterns and create a new paradigm for yourself. This unique opportunity allows you to look at your beliefs, values & your truths and ask yourself if these ideals are right for you and more so, if they are necessary to hold onto.

Change doesn't happen over-night and your old paradigm will always try is hardest to re-establish its old and familiar ways. Be aware of your emotions at this time as you will be pocessesing a ton of information about yourself. Note that other people may start to notice a change in you. Be aware of unexpected things and events coming your way. You may come upon obstacles and challenges. Some obstacles may suddenly disappear all together.

The journey of your life is yours to cherish, to learn from and to grow from. It is an adventure filled with love, loss, inspiration, pain, heartache, bliss and everything in-between. At times it will feel unfair, but always remember that no one ever said that life was designed to be fair. Other times it will paved with gold steps of opportunity and prosperity. Sacrifices will sooner or later need to be considered and made. You will let people down and so too will they let you down. You may at some point in your life ask the daunting question “Who am I if I don’t have this... (fill in the blank)... in my life?”
Life just is. It doesn’t takes sides.
It is your duty to yourself to find your happiness and peace-of-mind in spite of the cards that you may be dealt. It is your duty to honour the most important person in your life... You!

And remember, no one gets outta here alive so make the most of it and don't take everything so seriously. You don't have to hold on so tightly to who you think you should be. Let go... and the real you will be there to catch you!

Thanks for reading,
Donovan

On May 08, 2017