False Evidence Appearing Real.
When I am with my life coaching clients I get them to read that statement over and over again until it makes complete sense to you. Any professional will tell you that the psychology of fear derives from the expectation of danger or misfortune. This expectation may have stemmed from your own actual experience in the past, from someone else’s past experience or from a story that you make up and play out in your head. Danger and misfortune are very real and happen to people all the time, but it’s our thoughts about those events that can create fear in us.
Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. ~Marie Curie
The Fear Of Public Speaking
Among many peoples greatest worst nightmares is The Fear of Public Speaking.
I don’t blame them because I still ain’t a fan of public speaking. Your life isn’t in danger, so what the hell? Put me around friends and I can speak to them all. Make me stand on the table and give them a speech and the pits start to sweat, the hands shake uncontrollably, the voice jitters, the adrenalin goes berserk. “What if I mess up?”. “What if they laugh at me?” I become an instant mess because of this fear of having everyone’s attention on me. Huh??… But there it is and that is something that I am working on. The physical affects of terror can be as real as life itself and it can have debilitating effects on a person.
Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it. ~Henry S. Haskins
Never Pursuing Your Dreams
Never attempting To Pursue Your Dreams in the worry that you may not achieve it. Another crazy fear, but as real as any other. Never try achieve it. Always wish you had it. Tell everyone about it, but just let it slip away.
There are only 2 differences that separate those that succeed in spite of the fear and those that don’t.
- Those that succeed are willing to give up whatever it takes in order to achieve their goal.
- They don’t give up until their goal has been realised.
What Is Homeostasis?
Our bodies are constantly trying to remain and/or get back to a state of homeostasis. This means that, from a life coaching perspective, that your body wants to do the least amount of work and expend the least amount of effort in order to remain alive and safe. It’s for this reason that so many people struggle to get to the gym. Why get your adrenalin pumping with those heavy weights and those scary machines, when you can be safe and chill on the couch with your ready-made McDonalds burger?… (Welcome to mediocrity, you’ll right in here). The same applies to so many people that procrastinate on starting an amazing project or adventure. Why put yourself out there and potentially fail, when you can go down to the pub and tell everyone about this amazing project/adventure that you would love to be a part of… (Head in the clouds my friend)
Now don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that not all your goals and dreams will be achieved if you dare to pursue them. Sometimes you may even find that the dream that you desired for so long isn’t what you thought it would be before you began pursuing it, but how would you know if you didn’t even try?
Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. ~Brendan Francis
We Fear Failure!
Sadly, the system of our society dictates that failure must be avoided at all costs. We must never fail at school and we must get a safe job so we won’t fail if we attempt to create our own job. Yet, when you leave school, you find that you start to fail at many things. You get fired from you job because you just can’t do it like they want you to. You fail at relationships. You fail with your finances. You fail to meet peoples expectations… And your expectations. You fail with time management. And you fail your body. You start to fail at so many things that you feel you are just not good enough to create much success in your life, so you just accept things the way they are.
Allow Me To Let You In On A Secret.
Success is borne out of failure! It is this failure that shows us where we are going wrong and how to fix it or how to move to the next step in the process. Every person who has ever achieved great things in their lives have failed many many times. If you can just see the gems that these failures present you with. These are the vital pieces of the puzzle. They are the presents that will show what not to do in the future.
You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith. ~Mary Manin Morrissey
Time Is A Diminishing Commodity
For every minute that you allow your issues to control you and hold back your life is a minute that you will never get back. Successful people understand this and this is why they put their all into doing what they do. This is why they attempt so much and therefore are so blessed with so much more. Because they try so damn hard. Because they don’t pretend the fear isn’t there. They act while the fear IS there.
So What Does All This Mean To You?
Not a single thing.
Because you will read this and say “Yes, that guy has a good point”, and then move onto to the next thing that Facebook or Google has to offer. As long as your fear is more powerful than you. As long as it dictates how you live and what you do. It will not let go and you will not move forward. …Or will you prove me wrong and confront your fear. Face it head on and say : “You can fight me, but I will win”. “You can push me down and kick dirt in my face, but I will wipe it off and come back for more.” It is your duty as a free thinking human being to create an inspiring life in spite of the fear of doing so.
Will you dare? Will you? Only time will tell.
Thanks for reading,
Donovan – Life Coach