When I discuss the issue of death with my life coaching clients I notice how many of them feel that death is shrouded in mystery, fear, grief, loss and heartache. Yet, it is a crucial and necessary part of life. When seen through the eyes of nature, we can learn to understand the delicate balance that is required so all life can continue to flourish. The roaming antelope will destroy the land and all those that rely on the land if their herds aren’t kept in check by predators such as lion, hyena and leopard. To take part in this world of destruction and creation, we as humans must allows ourselves to understand our role in natures cycle of birth and death. We are not separate from nature, we are nature and we must therefore abide by the rules of destruction and creation.
In life coaching we help the person to understand that the notion of death cannot be explained with logic because it is less about the person who has died and more so about the person/people who are left alive that will mourn the dead. It is of very little use to explain that we will all have our turn to die and it is just a part of life because life in itself is shrouded in mystery. How are we to fathom such a permanent event such as death when we struggle to grasp the craziness of life?
Although the mystery of death can be captivating, it is often the process of dying that is alarming to the witness of such an event. Most peoples body’s cling to life because it is the ultimate survival technique that we are gifted with. Sadly it is in this clinging that loved ones of the dying will have to bare witness to. It is in these moments that there can be no greater pain than love. Our love allows us to have a glimpse into the desperate attempts for the body to hold onto every breathe. It is the pain of love that leaves us feeling hopeless that we can only but watch our loved one suffer. Nothing will snap you out of your every-day slump than being part of a loved ones last moments of their life’s journey.
When Death Has Arrived
These moments may be the most powerful and emotionally charged events a person may ever have to experience. The death of a loved one will crush your soul and leave you completely destroyed. On the journey of life, these moments may be some of the most difficult to endure.
For the deceased their journey has come to an end. Their race is over, but yours must carry on without them. These are life evaluating and life changing times for the living. The void that is felt will be met with loneliness, longing, grief, sadness and despair. There is no escaping it and as much as we refuse to acknowledge this process, it will pull us along anyway. We can only but embrace the grief and loss of what death present us with.
Death Teaches Us
Death is an In-Your-Face teacher. Unlike the fleeting moments of joy & happiness, death holds onto us for a long time. Day and night, it will be there to remind you that you are experiencing the loss of a loved one. Death is not concerned with your understanding of fairness, nor with your desperate plea’s to make the anguish of loss go away and neither with the anger of losing a loved one before their time.
So how then is it possible to learn from this seemingly uncaring aspect of life? What value can it provide when all it seems to want to do is create hurt and pain?
A great life coach in your area should help you to realise the value of life. The absolute frailty and privilege of being alive from one day to the next. We only want to experience the good times and forget that the difficult times must be endured and learnt from. The difficult moments can help us see all the positive aspects of our lives. How the small things should never have such a hold on our feelings.
They can show us what love truly means! If there is absolutely anything to gain from death, it is to understand what love is. The unconditional love that exists beyond time and space. The kind of love that will allow you to fondly remember and hold dear, the memories of the important people in your life.
Death reminds us to live while we are still alive. To breathe, move, experience. To meet new people. To explore the outer world and likewise to explore the inner world that sits within our mind. Death reminds us to really get in touch with our emotions and truly love the person in the mirror. It will show you how to value the fleeting moments of joy, happiness, laughter and fun. Death essentially shows us how to live, how to love and why its important to live fully and love deeply.
Tonight as you lay your head down, consider all the beauty and magic that exists in your life. Remember all the beautiful moments that you had the privilege of sharing with your loved ones who have now passed over. Allow yourself to hold a deep sense of love for family & friends.
Look into the sacred nature of death. Would we really value life if it went on into infinity? Would we truly value those special moments in life that take our breathe away? Would we ever aim higher, do better, aspire to be greater versions of ourselves? Would we dare to dream, take risks or embark on adventures? Possibly not…
Life and death dance in absolute harmony with each other and it is our duty to ourselves to take part in this dance and not take it for granted, because once your music stops, you will have to stop dancing. It would be a shame to know you could have danced but chose not to. It would be sad to be filled with regret in knowing that all you had to do was get up and dance when life asked you, but you chose not to. It is never to late to get up and dance. If your music is still playing, then you still have another chance to dance the great dance.
With that being said, if you are struggling to get over the loss of a loved, it is important to look up a good life coach in your area that can assist you with the grieving process.
Thanks for reading,
Donovan – Life Coach