Money is the root of all evil. The source of great pleasure. The key ingredient for chaos, suffering, misery, fun, entertainment and contentment. It is an ingenious concept that strikes at the heart of all our wishes and desires, while at the same time can feel like a scary monster under our bed keeping us up all night.
As a life coach I often wonder what is this thing called money and how does it have such a powerful effect on our lives?
First and foremost, in its most basic sense it is merely a reasonable form of energy exchange between two or more party’s. When viewed in this manner it makes perfect sense to have money in our lives as it allows for a fair exchange to commence in order for a need to be met. It allows for an accepted value to be gained for the time, energy, skill and talent that went into the creation/management of the product or service that is being offered.
As a life coach, I have noticed that money is just a tool and a resource to help us meet our needs. It assists the movement of our societal evolution so we can become better, smarter, quicker and more efficient. It is a collective human invention at its best and is currently the right tool on hand to meet our collective needs. Therefore, money cannot be the enemy or the saviour in our society. We must choose to go within and evaluate our own psychology if we are to find any answers for which we seek.
The real enemy at the gate is the confusion between wants and needs. Humans have very few real needs in order to survive. We need adequate food and water supply. We need basic shelter, decent amounts of sleep, clothing to keep us warm and the ability to procreate to ensure the survival of the species. Beyond that it starts to become a matter of psychology and it’s in this area where the confusion between wants and needs starts to become apparent. Although it is essential to feel safe, valued, happy, fulfilled, confident, loved and free, it can create distortions in the way we view reality. Human nature is geared towards moving away from pain and towards pleasure. This is where the seduction of money can sweep us off our feet and lead us down some strange paths.
When working with my life coaching clients, I find that as long as money is helping us move in the direction of pleasure, we will find it to be of value. However, the balance is like thin ice that can crack under our feet at any moment because when money, starts to lead us toward pain, then we can succumb to pain-associated feelings such as anger, frustration, jealousy, anxiety, depression and so on.
If money is just a tool then it is our relationship with money that must change if we are to work in harmony with it. If this relationship is currently in disharmony, then we must ask ourselves where are we going wrong and how can we start to repair the damage that has been done?
Firstly, we must look at the relationship itself. If money were your life partner, what would its characteristics be? Would it be kind, nurturing and loving or would it be harsh, critical, estranged and irritable? What are your expectations of it and do you nurture this relationship? Are you getting your needs met or are you frustrated by its lack of support?
Secondly, how is the relationship between your closest loved ones and money?
Thirdly, how were you taught to think about money while you were growing up from your parents or guardians? Were any limiting beliefs about money passed on to you? Are you passing on any limiting beliefs to those closest to you?
Lastly, what money patterns seem to dominate your life? Is it a matter of feast or famine? Loss and betrayal? Never enough? An exciting adventure? Which money patterns seem to repeat themselves over and over again in your life?
From this above exercise you can start to get a clearer picture of the dynamics of this relationship you have with money and the role it plays in your life. If you are to fix the holes in this relationship then it is crucial to be honest about your role in this relationship, where you may be faltering and then be willing to do what it takes to find a sense of harmony going forward. This may take time, patience and practice, but with some determined effort anyone can change direction and move toward a better destination.
When my life coaching clients have mastered their relationship with money have realised that opposed to being a slave to money, money is in fact their resourceful servant. These people have broken the shackles in their minds and freed themselves from this mental slavery. Freedom from mental money slavery is a choice. It is now up to you to choose to keep your shackles on or dare to be free and find out for yourself what lies beyond the horizon!
Thanks for reading,
Donovan – Life Coach