As a life coach I have noticed that most people that aren’t burdened with mental illness have the capacity to transcend their limitations and change their lives for the better… if they can learn and follow the general guidelines which will be presented in this article. The following guidelines aren’t to be taken as gospel, nor as something set in stone, but more like options which can be customised according to the individuals personal needs.
When most people feel stuck in the dull drama of their lives and they need to seek a life coaching sessions, the a life coach will point out that it boils down to the feeling of not being able to adequately solve the problem at hand. Or worse, not realising there is a problem to start with. If the mind sees itself as being stuck with no way out then that is exactly what will happen. There will be no resolution. However, if the mind feels like it is temporarily stuck and there is a solution somewhere and somehow, then it will work at an unconscious level to find the solution. The question now is, how can we train our minds to help us get out of sticky situations and live a good life?
1. The Map Is Not The Territory
Life Coaching will show you that the map is not the territory of reality. It is how you see the world and the beliefs that are associated with it. Although your map may seem to be the most accurate to you, it is still your interpretation of reality. This means that your map may not make sense to someone else or that certain sections of someone else’s map may paint a more empowering picture of reality than yours. In essence you are guided and limited by your map of reality and how you choose to interpret such information. If any point has ruined more relationships, created more divisions in society and been the source of more miscommunication problems, its this one. This is a very good thing to know because, if you can accept that your map of reality may have limitations, then you can start to understand that there may be better ways of doing things or possibly effective methods for bypassing certain pitfalls that you often find yourself in. So consider how your current map may be sabotaging your progress, making you go in circles or sending you in the wrong direction. On a lighter note though, it is also crucial to consider the positive aspects of your map and how it has effectively guided you in the right directions in the past. What sort of methods were used to get you the results you were looking for?
2. The Past Doesn’t Equal The Future
Unfortunately most of our interpretations of reality are based on past events. When undertaking a task, idea, option or choice, we will most often first search the library of the mind for any past events that have similar attributes to the current event and then evaluate the outcomes to check whether the current event should go ahead or not. This method, along with its initial strengths of looking out for our safety, comes with a weakness of potentially holding us back from many great adventures in life.
It’s often this very method that has been responsible for peoples greatest regrets later on in their lives. They based their decisions on past events and ended up missing out on life’s adventures.
3. People Aren’t Broken
Many people that appear to be broken are just stuck in a self-destructive loop of negative thinking, limited perceptions of themselves & the world, and the inability to realise that they can get out of the hole they are stuck in. This is not intended to dismiss anyone’s problems, but more to help inspire people with a sense of hope that change is possible, even if it doesn’t seem possible right now. Yes, it may take effort and outside assistance, but resilience in the face of difficulty is possible and has been demonstrated by countless people (children included) who have had to overcome incredibly difficult life experiences and go on to live a relatively normal life again.
4. Everything Is Achievable
You only have to look at the rapid rate of technological evolution to understand the magnitude of what is possible. The average person is only limited by the limitations of their own mind. As an example, people once thought that it was impossible to fly or speak to other people from a long distance away. Plane and phone technology is committed to the creation of such things and we now take these advances in human engineering for granted. Therefore, since it is possible for society to take such gigantic leaps forward, then what possible leaps forward can you make in your own life if you begin thinking that everything is achievable?
5. Empowerment = Personal Responsibility
If you want your life to change you must start taking responsibility for it. This includes considering finding a life coach in your area. Obviously its not about taking responsibility for what others do to you, but more so how you choose to respond to such curve balls. Even when it comes to horrific human acts done to people, its the people who learn to take responsibility for their thoughts, choices and actions in spite of such trauma that go on to survive and get past such difficulties.
We can’t dictate how the world is going to treat us, but we can choose how we will respond. This takes courage because its always going to feel easier to be a victim of life rather than an active contributor. A victim mentality will only keep you stuck until you choose otherwise.
6. We Respond To Perception Not Reality
If three people witness the exact same event, they will most often interpret it differently. How is this possible? We are witnessing the event through our beliefs, values and (mis)perceptions. This then gives way to generalising, distorting and deleting information to suit our individual sense-making mechanisms of the world around us.
The mind must quickly assess what bits of information are important to deal with at any given moment. Since we are constantly bombarded with information, the mind will have to pinpoint only what it thinks is relevant and discard the rest. The way it does this is it compares it to other similar events by generalising, altering certain parts so it can make better sense by distorting and then deleting information which it find useless. This is all done at a rapid rate which mostly goes unnoticed until the final result is spat out into your conscious awareness.
Life Coaching shows us that in order for us to learn and grow as evolving adults, we must consider our limitations, blind spots and self-sabotaging behaviours. What would we like to see different in our lives and more importantly, how are we currently contributing to the maintenance of having the things we don’t like in our lives? How are you getting in your own way on your journey and what can be done about it?
Life can often seem to be complex in nature because we are only viewing the problem as if it has no solution. Worse still, we often combine many problems together, not realising that if each problem gets tackled individually, then eventually many of the issues will either vanish completely or at least be radically reduced in size. Our brain is designed to solve problems, so it is up to us to get out of our own way and let the brain find solutions to the problems we face.
Thanks for reading,
Donovan – Life Coach