There are not many changes that my clients need to make when they embark on their life coaching journey. A few simple steps in the right direction is all it takes to achieve massive results. Below you will find 5 simple life coaching tips that you can implement today that will reap the greatest rewards, and help you change your life.
https://www.donovanrabie.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/IMG_0357-sm.jpg 292 500 Donovan Rabie https://www.donovanrabie.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/DR-Web-Site-Logo-300x138.png Donovan Rabie2020-11-12 07:29:292020-11-21 07:41:48Top 5 Life Coaching Tips to Live Your Best Life
There are too many people out there throwing success away by reaching too high, not being able to manage such a level of change for long enough, and then come crashing down and abandoning the whole idea, landing right back where they started.
This so often happens!
The person wants change fast because they realise how much time they’ve wasted by not doing what needs to be done, so they think if they put 3x, 4x, 10x the amount of effort in, all at once, then the change will happen faster. This never works!
Old habits die hard and they will be the biggest obstacles to success, so when you overload yourself, you’ll become too stressed and overwhelmed, and your old habits will just come sneaking in the back door again.
Therefore, create incremental, consistent, and repeatable changes every single day that make you just 1% better today than you were yesterday.
This method simply alters your current pattern, which doesn’t overwhelm, and can be easily managed.
Over time, these tiny changes start to compound, and only looking back will you realise how far you have come, and how much you have changed.
Success doesn’t happen overnight, but it is built on good, repeatable habits, over time that anyone can nurture.
Patience, practise, diligence, repeat….
There is very little we have control over in life. We have some form of control over things such as our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, actions, and choices. Essentially, it’s everything within us. Notice how hard it is just to control your thoughts. Now try control your emotions when they start running high… Almost impossible right?
Yet many people’s problems are compounded because they get frustrated about the things that are beyond their control. This is everyone and everything that is outside of us. You cannot control how people think, behave, or act. You cannot control the weather, government, money markets, the price of petrol, inflation, corruption, and endless more things out there in the world.
Stop letting life dictate your thoughts and emotions. Stop being thrown into a tail-spin because you get so overwhelmingly annoyed by incompetence, being let down, delays, and obstacles. If you can’t control it, let it go.
Focus on developing yourself.
This applies to people who want to say no to others, but say yes instead.
They want to say No, but they can’t help themselves and they say Yes. They feel resentment and frustration, because on top of everything they already have on their plate, they must now take on this extra responsibility.
So why do these people struggle to say no?
2 Things will happen if they say no.
1. The natural flow of the conversation will be disrupted, leading to an awkward tension in the conversation.
2. The other person will not like their request being rejected. In order for “harmony” to be maintained, and to not make the other person feel rejected, our “yes” person will conform and accept the other person’s request.
How to say No with confidence
Learning to say No with confidence, you must be willing to deal with the consequences. Like above, there are 2 things you will have deal with.
1. You will disrupt the natural flow of the conversation, leading to an awkward tension that both parties will feel. You must accept this.
2. The other person will not like that you are not accepting their request, and you must okay with that. You must learn to be okay with letting people down on your own terms. While they may not like what you have to say, they will start to respect you more, and more importantly, you will start to respect yourself more.
1. Asking for help: The average person I coach thinks they must do everything themselves. They don’t want to, or know how to ask for help if they get stuck or fall behind with something. They think asking for help is a sign of weakness or failure, so instead will over-work to compensate, and therefore, create consistent rising levels of stress and isolation. They will rather hold on to their crippling belief than reach out… It seems silly, doesn’t it?
Contrary to this, the person who sucks it up and asks for help understands the value of time and resources. Such a person can solve problems faster and can learn from their mistakes at a much quicker pace. Such a person can better deal with small moments of rejection as well, because they don’t care if someone denies their request, since they know the value that is created if the person accepts to help them out.
2. Asking for what you want: I will briefly discuss the scenario of hoping to get a promotion at work, but this also applies to many areas where one knows they must speak up to get what they want.
The hard worker thinks their hard work will speak for themselves when it comes to getting a promotion, while they often watch “less capable” people rising above them that don’t work nearly as hard as them.
Why is this? Because, while hard work is a necessary tool for success, its not the only tool. Smart workers also learn to nurture tools such as the abilities to: stand up to authority, not worry about what people might think of them, say No, ask for help, delegate, be agile, maintain high levels of focus, and put their attention on the 20% amount of work that will generate 80% of the results. This nurtures things like charisma and confidence which makes one stand out, and are crucial components needed in today’s busy work environments.
While this isn’t a fool-proof strategy, or something that will work every time, it is however, a useful approach to looking at what tools people are using to help them gain an upper hand on life. The only thing that separates a confident and successful person from one that is not, is that the confident and successful person is more willing to accept the consequences of their actions than the average person. That tiny advantage is often all that is needed.
Practise it as often as possible. Take a moment now to think of what you are grateful for… Don’t worry, I’ll wait… Did you notice that when you took that moment to think of the things you are truly grateful for, you weren’t able to simultaneously think of anything negative? You may also notice that you had to get a little creative as your list started growing.
Your mind can only process one thought at a time… No matter how many thoughts come in. This brief moment of gratitude helps you to stay in tune with reality, and not get so lost in the negative, over-thinking, doom-&-gloom part of your mind. Furthermore, once the mind changes from negative to positive, it will automatically awaken the Inner Creative Genius that resides in all of us.
This exercise is not about disassociating from life or pretending your life is something its not, but it is a quick way of slowing down the negative downward spiral that your destructive thoughts can take you into.
Study’s have shown that people are better problem-solvers and more creative when they are in a positive state of mind. Therefore, if you are being challenged with a problem that is difficult to solve, first start your problem solving strategy with 5 minutes of becoming aware of all the things in your life that you can be grateful for. This brief moment will create the right foundations for you to get creative on your problem; to see what you weren’t able to see before; to probe at your problem from many different angles; to find the silver-lining that you may not have noticed before.
Your life is defined by how you choose to interpret your experiences, and that makes all the difference. If you start to see the hidden opportunities where everyone else sees problems, you will become your own best friend, coach, cheerleader, and role model.
And lastly… We did not come to this place called life to be free of problems. We came here because we are inherently master problem-solvers. We came here to fix the mistakes of the past; to challenge the old principles of the status-quo. We came here to realise how powerful we can truly be, as individuals, and as a collective.
Thanks for reading,