Almost all of my clients who suffer with anxiety are also hard on themselves. While not everyone who has anxiety is hard on themselves, I have found that most times, if my client has anxiety, they will also have a tendency to be hard on themselves. They will be hard on themselves because they often don’t feel good enough; they struggle with perfectionism; they procrastinate; and/or have a fear of criticism and judgment. This creates a downward spiral of negative emotions and destructive behaviour that perpetuates anxiety.
I have found that by forgiving the self, all the hurt, abandoned, isolated, lonely, shameful, and scared parts of the self and inner child self, one will be able to begin the journey of healing and integration.
Unfortunately my clients are either unaware of this dynamic relationship they have with themselves and parts that make up the self, or they can identify with such parts, but have a strained relationship with these parts due to so many years of being hard on themselves.
I always remind my clients, that like with any relationship that requires attention to get back on track, so too does the relationship with your self/selves require that same sort of attention.
The mending of this bond between self, and of self does not happen over night, but if one is willing to understand and have compassion for themselves and all the errors, mistakes, and challenges they have had to experience throughout their lives, they can begin to heal these developmental wounds.
You see, you have the most powerful bond with yourself. You were there on the day you were born. You were there, and will always be there with yourself through every experience of every day. And you are guaranteed to be there on your last day when you take your last breathe. This is the most powerful relationship you will ever experience.
I encourage to learn to authentically love yourself.
Thanks for reading